From Dream to Destiny Read online

  X

  Sophie was now seven months along. They had quit having sex a couple of weeks ago. The sex they had been having had been so gentle that it was at times more frustrating than enjoyable. Gastien knew Sophie was frustrated, too, and did her best to try to make him happy.

  She was so huge now that they both joked about it a lot. He did enjoy the time he spent with her, and they became closer every week. It was just that he really needed some release! The need was horrible. He had lived for several years having almost daily sex, which was anything but gentle. He found himself getting more and more agitated inside.

  As for Sophie, she was tired of reading and lying around. She was also tired of watching Gastien pace like a tiger in between brush strokes. She knew what he wanted, and was frustrated that she could not give it.

  There was an undercurrent of tension in their home. She felt that one wrong look, one wrong word, would cause a big blow out argument. She had decided today to go see her sister. Gastien had a patron coming so she needed to go somewhere. Plus, she needed a little breathing space!

  Gastien kissed her goodbye as he helped her into the carriage. Then he went back inside to wait for Juliette.

  When she arrived, they began their second session. Juliette was the lovely young wife of one gentry or another, he forgot who. He found himself fantasizing about what it would feel like with Juliette’s thighs wrapped around him. Gastien gave no indication of what he was thinking, though.

  Juliette herself quite liked what she saw as she gazed as Gastien. She had heard from others in Paris that Gastien was quite the lover. At least, he used to be before he married. It seemed he had taken himself out of circulation once he fell in love. Pity.

  She wondered if she could entice him back. It was so very dull to be faithful to one’s spouse! Only the peasants had a penchant for faithfulness. It was almost as if they felt that gave them something to be proud of, since they had little else.

  She stood up and stretched.

  “Juliette! We are not at break yet, I am in the middle of your dress, and now the folds have disappeared!” scolded Gastien.

  “I am bored, Gastien. I would truly love to have you in the middle of my dress, if you are interested.”

  She smiled at him and tilted her head back. “Unfortunately, I have heard that you no longer enjoy other women, now that you are married. How very pure of you! How very boring.”

  Gastien sat down his brush. “I have not sworn myself to monogamy. I just have been busy being a newly married man. Sophie and I were creating a lot of heat for a lot of weeks in my bed.”

  She continued to stare at him, lips parted.

  “Di you say ‘were’?” she purred.

  “Oui. Unfortunately, she is now too far along for us to do much of anything.”

  He stood up. Gastien felt a pang of guilt, but quickly banished it. “So, if you are offering, I am taking.”

  He cocked an eyebrow at her.

  “Oh, I am offering all right,” she whispered.

  Gastien could not get the shutters closed fast enough. Locking the door, he moved toward her.

  “I want to make it clear that I am not interested in romance, gentle sex, or lovemaking. Je veux une bonne baise hard. Are you game?” he asked bluntly.

  “Oui. You can use me as hard as you wish. I like a man who can back his bite with some power.”

  “Are you the type of woman who becomes ready just thinking about it?”

  “Oui,” breathed Juliette. “I am soaking wet.”

  “Then I suggest you bend over that table over there, lift your skirt, and drop your underwear. I am in too great of need to consider anything except fast, deep, and hard.”

  As Gastien took her, he realized how very badly he needed sex that was anything but tender. While he was not a sadist, he did enjoy very intense – almost rough – sex. In fact, he craved it. This was pure animal release; it was not anything close to love.

  As he used her, he also made sure to pleasure her with his hand. Soon she was reaching her heights; Gastien joined her happily.

  “Merci, Juliette,” said Gastien, as he pulled out. He kissed the back of her neck. “I needed that badly. You have no idea.”

  “You are quite welcome, as the pleasure was also mine. You communicated how badly you needed that by your thrusting!” She sighed happily. “How I wish my husband would do to me what you just did!”

  “Oui, well, don’t count on it,” Gastien stated. “Most men could care less what a woman wants.”

  He walked over to his dressing area to wash himself off before buttoning his trousers.

  Juliette raised her brows.

  “Am I that dirty that you need to wash in front of me?”

  “Non, but I am considerate of my wife. I want to be clean when she comes home. If you wish to use the water quickly you can, too.”

  After they were situated again, Gastien opened the shutters and unlocked the door. He rearranged her dress in the folds he had it in before. Satisfied that he had it arranged correctly, he began to paint. After a few minutes, he decided to ask for help from Juliette.

  “Will you do me a favor, chèri?”

  “Of course, if I can. What do you need?”

  “Those women that have been wondering about me…please let them know that I am back in circulation. I am very much in need of their company.”

  Juliette smiled knowingly. “I will. They will be delighted I am sure!”

  “Tell them I am not available except by mail, and not at all on Sundays and Mondays. For the next month, I cannot see them here. If they want me, they will have to make other arrangements. After that, I can use my studio. But it may be more comfortable in a hotel, as I will not make my wife share our marriage bed with another woman. My bed is off limits.”

  “You ask a lot, Gastien. What makes you think women will pay for a room to be with you?”

  He laughed. “You just had me. Would you?”

  Remembering her shattering orgasm, she conceded, “I see your point.”

  “I am also very good with my mouth. They, and you, will gladly pay for a room to be given what you rightfully should be getting from your husbands. However, if some are not interested, I will find others that are.”

  He smiled sweetly. “I know my value. It is in my looks, my mouth, my bite, and my painting hand. I have no problem with those being my greatest assets.”

  “I will tell them, but now I have a favor to ask of you.”

  “Oui?”

  “Reserve every Wednesday at noon for me, at the Hotel De Ville for the next two months. I will send a carriage.”

  Gastien smiled smugly. “Merci, Juliette. As you have proven, I have not overestimated my worth.” He picked up his brush. “We have a date.”

  XI

  Juliette left at four o’clock, while Gastien cleaned up his brushes. He was feeling much more relaxed, and his crabbiness was gone.

  When Sophie arrived home, he came out to help her down from the carriage. As they walked inside, they were chattering away; talking about Sophie’s visit to her sisters.

  Sophie was tired, so Gastien suggested that they dine out that night. They chose a small, intimate cafe close by.

  Returning home, they sprawled on a chaise.

  “Mon Dieu it is hard sharing a chaise with such a fat woman! How can you even read with your book propped up on that mound?” Gastien complained jokingly. He kissed her face tenderly as he rubbed her belly.

  “Fat, huh? Merci beaucoup! I give you my heart and you give me a big belly! Some trade!”

  Gastien smiled contentedly.

  Sophie looked at him keenly. Gastien had been in a much better mood ever since she had come home. She did not see the tenseness around his eyes or in his body muscles. He laughed naturally and easily, and the sparkle was back in his eyes.

  Suddenly, she knew. It hurt for a minute, and then she swallowed her ego. What difference did it make, if it helped keep him happy? He obviously loved her. And he
obviously had been in great need for some time. If she could be open minded enough, she would actually benefit from a happier, more attentive husband.

  She reached up for him then, pulling his head to her. Kissing him longingly, she pulled back. Looking at him without judgment she said, “Are you feeling better now?”

  Gastien stared at her for a moment.

  “Oui. Much more relaxed and clear headed.”

  “Well, thank goodness! I thought you were going to explode any minute and pound a hole in the wall or something, purely out of frustration.”

  He pulled her closer. “Je t’aime, Sophi-belle. You know that, right?”

  “Oh, oui. I never doubt that.”

  “Good. Because you will be the only woman I ever love. I am so proud to have you as my wife.” He kissed her then and rubbed her shoulders. “It is almost time for you to move back. I should have waited. I was inconsiderate.”

  “Non. You were getting quite desperate. It is different, Gastien, this agreement. I grant you that. Still, it is better to have you civil and happy the last month that I live here than have to tip toe around you. I know you have large needs. And you know what? I am proud to have you as my husband, even if you struggle to keep your trousers buttoned.”

  “Actually, it is no struggle at all. When the urge hits, I tend to unbutton them,” he admitted.

  Sophie laughed. “Why does that not surprise me, Gastien Beauchamp? Just don’t give your heart to anyone else. Your bite I can live with, but not giving away your heart.”

  “That I promise, Petite Oiseau. That I promise. Let’s go to bed. You look exhausted.”

  If Sophie wondered about Gastien’s trips to the city all of a sudden, she did not ask; for surely she did not wonder at all. It bothered her at first that he could take time away from painting for that when he could not be disturbed by her.

  Then she realized that his only other alternative would be to see these other women after painting all day. That would take away their time.

  Besides, she was quite big now and in no mood to do anything sexual with anyone. Her back hurt, her legs hurt, and more and more she stayed in bed. She was just so damn big!

  XII

  Finally, at the eighth month, it was decided that she should move back to Odette’s. She did not want to go into labor in Gastien’s studio, because it was further for the sage-femme to come. She wanted to make sure that the sage-femme knew where to go when the time came and could come quickly.

  She would be moving back in another week. That time went slowly, as she really did not feel like doing anything but having the baby! She was cross and cried a lot. Gastien was beside himself because he could not make her feel better.

  Moving day finally came. Gastien helped her into the carriage after loading up her belongings. He rode with her, unpacking all of her things once they got to Odette’s. Thankfully, Odette stayed out of the way.

  Gastien looked in on the small room that would be the baby’s nursery after his first few months of life. It was cozy and inviting. Sophie had spent a lot of time making it ready during her visits.

  Gastien felt the pull of wanting to stay with his wife and child. It was much stronger than he had ever imagined it would be. It tore at his heart, and he was glad that Odette was firm about him not living there. Otherwise, he may have been tempted to end up just like everyone else after all, turning his back on his dream. It was damn hard to love two things that pulled in opposite directions! Tears fell down his face as he looked at Sophie.

  “Ah, Sophie! I think my heart is breaking right now. I feel I can’t win no matter which direction I go. I don’t want to be separate from you! I don’t! Yet, I can’t live without my painting time.”

  She put her arms around him. “Gastien, it will be fine. Just you wait and see. Remember? Love conquers all. Just be patient. Now, go in peace back home. You have promised to come see me every day until the baby is born. If I go into labor during your painting time, I will ask to have a cabriolet sent for you.” They kissed and Gastien rubbed her back. “Now, go! I need a nap. And I don’t want to see tears! I want to see you smile. You are getting everything you wanted, darling. Don’t forget that in a moment of emotion. We will see each other a lot.”

  Gastien finally left and walked home, crying most of the way. Why did life have to be so hard? He almost ran back a couple of times to say, Sophie, please, forget what I said. Come home with me. You belong home with me! But he didn’t. He knew his studio was not a place for a wife and a child. He also knew other alternatives would make him even sadder.

  XIII

  The emptiness of his studio was an assault to his ears. His bed stood out starkly, looking cold and forlorn. No more would he be waking up in the middle of the night, knowing that someone who loved him was right there next to him. Stop it, he told himself. You will be seeing Sophie often. We will figure out ways to be together.

  Sighing, he went to the icebox to see if there was anything to eat. He was pleased to see that Sophie had made a couple of different items for him to eat over the next few days. However, as he removed one item, he heard his front door open. Peeking in from the back, he saw Mic.

  “Mic? What’s up? Are you finished painting for the day?”

  “Oui. Alice sent me down to ask you upstairs for dinner. We figured you would be uneasy the first night without Sophie.”

  Gastien was relieved. “That would be great! It is so quiet and sad in here right now that I feel I am in mourning. Can I bring vin? And some cakes that Sophie made?”

  “You can bring vin. Leave the cakes for yourself. I know how much you love them. Sophie will be too busy for awhile to be baking, even at her Aunt’s. Come on up anytime. Now, if you are ready.”

  Gastien quickly grabbed a couple of bottles of vin and left his quiet studio. He would have to face the quiet again later, but maybe he would be tired enough that it would not matter so much. They had a pleasant, simple meal of stew, bread, vin, and cream puffs that Alice had bought earlier that day to surprise Mic and Gastien.

  Later, Alice said she wanted to go to bed early; so Mic asked Gastien if he wanted to go downstairs and paint together, maybe having absinthe. That sounded great to Gastien. He very much appreciated that Mic was trying to make his first night without Sophie as painless as possible.

  When they got downstairs, they both set up table top easels. Gastien lit the lanterns as Mic poured the absinthe. Gaz placed the sugar cubes on the slotted spoons and slowly poured cold water on them, drop by drop. Both sat and watched as the cubes dripped into the green liquid, turning it a pearly white. Once the sugar had completely melted, they added three parts water.

  When in a hurry to feel the effects, they would simply soak the sugar cube in the liquor, set it on fire, and dump it into the drink, watching the blaze and stirring it out. Tonight they wanted the water ritual because they were simply relaxing.

  Gastien got out some hash, too. They shared a smoke. Soon they were on their second drink and quite high. They began painting, deciding to just let the colors tell them where to go.

  Mic confided that Alice was starting to pressure him to find a job. She wanted nicer furniture, and hoped they would have babies, too. So far she had not become pregnant, but it was not for lack of trying.

  Gastien had thought maybe Mic and Alice would make it, since they had been together several months. Now it did not sound like it.

  “Well, Mic, I can’t tell you what to do. In the end, you have to decide. I like Alice a lot, but she is very young. She was sixteen when she moved in with you, seventeen now. How does she even know for sure what she wants? You could give up your painting and still have an unhappy wife, if you decide to go the marriage and job route. I can’t see you giving up your life of painting, but maybe in your heart that is what you want.”

  “Non! I want to paint. It is who I am. I am not about to get a job. Painting is my job! I am just so sad, because I really thought this would work. I love her, Gaz. Damn it, why isn’t that enou
gh for her?” Mic asked sadly.

  “I don’t know, Mic, you know women. They want families, furniture, all of that.”

  “Sophie agreed to your situation.”

  “Oui. She did, but you and I both know that is highly unusual. I don’t think you can expect too many women to be that open minded.”

  “I hate to lose her, Gaz. I really like being with her!”

  “Well, then I hope it works out and she quits hounding you about it. She probably won’t, though. Regardless, you know I am here for you, no matter what. Do you want me to talk to her? I am not sure what I could say, but if you think it would help – ”

  “I don’t think it would. She would say it was none of your business.” Mic sighed. “More and more, I think you are right. A man can’t choose this life and expect to have an easy life with any woman. It is great that you have Sophie and that she agreed to your lifestyle requests, yet it won’t be without sadness either. I know you will miss her here, but you would be unhappier with her and a child present. It is different for me. I paint landscape, so I am outside the majority of the year.”

  They sat in friendly silence several minutes, drinking and painting.

  Finally Mic got up to leave.

  “Bonsoir, Gastien. I hope you can sleep well. Just think! You will soon be a father!”

  Gastien smiled. “Oui, hard to believe that I am involved in that, isn’t it? I am so glad women have them instead of men! I can’t imagine a human coming out of me. It is pretty amazing, but I am relieved that it is not up to males.”

  “Amen. That must hurt something awful.”

  “Well, goodnight. Merci for the company. I hope things work out with Alice.”

  For the next month and a half, Gastien painted, seeing at least one patron a week. He kept his sex escapades inside his studio to minimize the time spent. If Sophie went into labor, he did not want to be gone when the driver came to tell him.