From Dream to Destiny Read online

  “Pfft. I will treat him civilly. The child will find out soon enough what quality of man its father is.”

  “Odette, if you give me a chance, you will find that I can actually be quite pleasant,”

  promised Gastien.

  “Oui, look where it got Sophie.” Then she stopped. “I will try. I have never doubted you can be pleasant. It’s the things you can’t be that bother me.”

  “Well, then just be glad you don’t have to marry me!” laughed Gastien.

  Odette did not join him in the humor.

  “I will be watching you, Gastien. If you hurt my Sophie, I will rip your heart out.”

  “I understand. But she is not your Sophie anymore, is she. I will love her as deeply as I can. I said that before, and I am no liar. Whatever we agree to in our marriage is none of your concern. Please keep that in mind.”

  “And you keep in mind that you better not cheat on her.”

  “Auntie Odette, stop it. Whatever Gastien does, I will know about. You can be sure of that.”

  “You are so naïve , Sophie. Just because he promises he won’t does not mean a thing. He is a man; a bohemian, at that. He will cheat.”

  “Non, he won’t. Because he already has my permission.” Locking eyes with Odette, Sophie refused to look away.

  “Have you no pride, child?” Odette hissed. “Are you saying you agree to him sleeping with other women?”

  “I am not saying that I like it, but I have agreed. I am saying I don’t want to be lied to. He has said he is not monogamous. I love him and know he loves me. If he chooses to have sex with other women, that is because of his issues or needs. I can’t control those.”

  Odette shook her head. “I like this less and less. What exactly is in this for you, Sophie?”

  “A father for my child! His name. The man I love as often as we both want to arrange it. The way I see it, most married people aren’t all that happy. Perhaps not being together every day will keep us excited about each other.”

  “And what about you, Gastien?” Odette asked. “What if it was Sophie who slept around? How would you tolerate that?”

  Gastien thought for a few minutes. “It would not make me happy. She is a woman and could get pregnant. Also, many times, a woman’s heart can’t help but get involved when she has sex. But, I would not leave her. That would be up to her. I would like to be her only man. Still, we don’t really control other people. I, more than most, understand sex for just sex.”

  “I’ll just bet you do.”

  “Why is my sex life so important to you anyway?” he asked. “Are you interested? Because let me assure you, I am not!”

  Odette was livid. “How dare you speak to me that way!”

  “The same way you dare to constantly degrade me! Stay out of my business! I don’t plan on making a frequent habit of sleeping around, but if I did it would not be anyone’s concern except my wife’s. Can we drop it and try to move forward?”

  “We will drop it for the sake of peace around here. Just know that I think very little of you. Neither you nor I should be surprised if I think less of you in the future.”

  “What you think of me is of no concern in my book. You had me judged the first time you saw me, before I even opened my mouth. Now, if you don’t mind, we have a celebration dinner tonight. You are quite welcome to come to the wedding. It will be in four days. Her siblings can come, too, if they wish. Sophie will fill you in when she returns from staying with me.”

  He got up and put his hand out for Sophie.

  “Bonsoir, Odette.”

  XXXVIII

  Sophie and Gastien met the others at Le Procope, where they had a wonderful dinner. Cassie and Vic were surprised when Mic told them the news. They could hardly wait to hear the details. Sophie and Gastien did not divulge their upcoming living arrangement. That would be shared later. They both just wanted to enjoy the evening without any more questions or judgments from other people.

  After dinner they sat with a couple bottles of good champagne, compliments of Maurice. Gastien had his arm around his Sophie. He would often nuzzle her hair or neck when listening to the others talk.

  Sophie basked in the attention that Gastien gave to her. She knew from his actions how much he really did love her. That made her even more certain they would make the marriage not only work, but thrive.

  Cassie said she would like to go with Sophie to pick out a dress to wear. They asked Vic to come along, but she declined, saying someone had to mind the store. She had no interest in feminine things, anyway.

  “You two go and have a fun girlie day. Cassie does not do that often enough. Hopefully the two of you will become even closer amies.”

  After dinner, Gastien went and thanked Maurice for the wine and private table. He paid the bill, and then they all piled into a carriage to make their way back to Montmartre. Gastien and Sophie were tired. The others wanted to go out dancing, but Sophie and Gastien went home.

  “Have fun tonight,” called Sophie, as Gastien picked her up in his arms.

  Cassie’s eyes sparkled. “You two have fun too. The way Gastien has been cuddling up to you all evening, I doubt you are going right to sleep!”

  Sophie blushed, while Gastien laughed.

  “My fiancé may need her rest. After all, she does have my baby growing inside her. However, there is always tomorrow.” He winked.

  When they did get inside, Gastien kissed Sophie tenderly. Then, he carried her to the bed. Gently, he removed her clothes, stripped himself, and then got into bed with her. She turned to him. He kissed her, but broke it off.

  “Sophie, I know you are exhausted. Let’s go to sleep. Like I said, there is always tomorrow.”

  “Are you sure? I could also make love. I will never tire of you, Gastien.”

  “Sophie, I want you to sleep. You are pregnant. We made love a lot today, we will both live.”

  She smiled tenderly, curling up next to him. Within a couple minutes they were both asleep.

  XXXIX

  Soon it was Tuesday. Sophie was leaving to go home. She would also return to work that night. They decided it did not make sense for her to look for another job. Once she showed, bosses would not feel it was proper to have her working anyway. She would continue at Au Lapin Agile until that time.

  Gastien had a sitting with Charlotte at ten o’clock. They were up early in order to be ready to start their days by nine. Before Sophie left, they also decided that they both would be taking Thursday through Monday off to celebrate their marriage. As they kissed goodbye, Sophie decided to make a request.

  “Gastien there is something I want to ask in regard to our wedding. I know you need your freedom and don’t want me living here permanently; but could I stay here after we are married just until it is time for the baby to be born? I would like that time to be with my new husband like man and wife.”

  Gastien held her close. “Of course you can, Sophie, if you don’t think it will make it harder to go back. I would love that time with you. Do you think it is wise, though?”

  “Oui. It will be hard. Still, I would like that time with you. I know you will be painting. I will also work until they won’t have me there anymore, but it would be nice to have you next to me at night for awhile.”

  “How about if we move over what you need here a couple days after the wedding?”

  “Oui, that is fine. I don’t have time to do it today or tomorrow. Thursday is out, because I don’t want you to see me the day of our wedding. It is bad luck!”

  “How will I marry you if I can’t see you?” he joked.

  “Silly! I mean you can’t see me before the wedding. I will be there, don’t worry. I can’t wait to be your wife!”

  “Hmmmm. Spoken like a woman who has no idea what she is getting into.”

  She kissed him deeply. “I will never grow tired of you. Every second of every day I want you to remember that I think you are wonderful, just as you are. Even when we fight, which we will, I want you to remembe
r that.”

  “I will try to remember. Oh, Sophie, I wish I had it in me to be more of what I should be as a husband! I think there is something lacking in me.”

  “Well, if so, then it is more than made up for by your talent and your honesty. I am happy, Gastien. Don’t forget that.”

  XL

  Gastien soon greeted Charlotte and spent the day working on her portrait. Charlotte was an extremely enjoyable woman. Most of all, although she was lovely, Gastien appreciated the fact that she did not flirt with him. It would have seemed wrong for her to treat Nath that way, being they were so close. Charlotte knew what Gastien had meant to Nathalie.

  Plus, he had no desire for additional sex. Sophie and he had kept the bed quite warm since being together. He was no longer looking for women just to be with women.

  He found Charlotte a delightful subject. She was full of stories about her and Nath growing up. She also filled him in about his daughter, Giselle. At the end of the day, he saw her off and cleaned up his paints.

  Soon he saw Mic coming home from the park. Sticking his head outside the door he called, “Salut, Mic, how did your day go?”

  “Excellent, ami. I noticed you had a patron today. It is good to know you worked for once in your immoral, lazy, life. Want to go to Au Lapin Agile later?”

  Mic’s eyes sparkled. He knew Gastien wanted to see Sophie there.

  “That would be great, but let’s eat here first. Sophie made up some rabbit stew. If I eat all of it I will be a size larger. Will you join me?”

  “Sure. Do you have bread or do I need to make an errand run? I know you will have vin on hand.”

  “I have everything we need. I have a fiancé now, you know. She thinks of those things.”

  Mic laughed. “It still sounds funny hearing you say that. By the way, I am thinking of having Alice move in. What do you think?”

  “How long have you known her? She seems nice enough. She sure is good looking. I wonder how I missed her!”

  Gastien leered, just get a rise out of Mic.

  “Easy, boy! You missed her because you were holed up in here for three days with Sophie. Besides, you don’t usually go for the village girls, remember?” Then he laughed. “Unless, of course, you are looking to get married. But I guess Sophie is not from Montmartre, so you are not a liar after all.”

  Gastien grinned. “You can rub it in all you want. I am just so damn happy!”

  “You look happy, Gaz.”

  “I think that if you and Alice love each other you should give it a try.”

  Gastien wondered to himself how Mic could fall in love at least once a year. Ah, well. If he preferred attaching “love” to it in order to feel good about having sex, then that was his business. He seemed to need that periodically, although he was not immune to womanizing in between his serial monogamy.

  “However, if you end up in screaming matches, try to keep it between seven in the morning and ten o’clock at night, please. That last woman gave me a headache,” stated Gastien.

  “You? She gave me a pain in the ass!” laughed Mic. “What was I thinking when I had her move in? Shows you how a man can be blinded by a huge pair of breasts. What can I say, other than I am definitely a breast man!” He turned to go. “I will be down shortly.”

  While they were eating that night, Gastien told Mic about the odd living arrangements that he and Sophie had agreed upon.

  “Well,” said Mic, “it seems awfully one sided, but I do see your point. First of all, I have lived with women; trying to paint while having a woman around is damn near impossible. They are after you all the time to ‘do something’. I guess painting does not count as ‘something’ once they move in, especially once babies are involved. As you know, when I had Margaux living with me it was constant fighting once we had a child. She even left Paris after we split up. I would have liked to have been involved in the child’s life, but that witch was determined to do everything she could to undermine that.”

  “Oui. I am thankful you did not end up married to that shrew,” agreed Gastien.

  “Secondly, you had a damn tough life until you got to Montmartre, Gaz. There is no way anyone, even me, can understand how that affected you. I had finally given up thinking you would ever love anyone. If you can only do that if you have your own space and your own freedom, then I am glad you stood up for that. Sophie is a strong woman. She loves you very much. I bet she probably understands you a lot better than you think she can. I hope it works out. I think it will, too. You are both crazy about each other. “

  “I hope so, too, Mic. I hope so too. I know I won’t be monogamous. That will be the one thing that she may end up finding out won’t work for her, even though she says she understands it.”

  “Well, you can’t blame her. Women in general are not keen on that. I don’t know what to say to that, Gaz. Just be honest, I think that is what she wants. And don’t go falling into bed with women left and right, just because you can. Don’t you think it is time to put some of that behind you now?”

  “Oui, I agree. I am not going to do that unless I have a great need. Unfortunately for me, I have a great need frequently.” He looked at Mic. “Seriously, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I need a lot of sex, Mic. A lot.”

  “Well, I think some people are more that way than others. I like to have a lot of sex, too, but I don’t need sex daily or anything. I mean, oui, it would be nice. It is not something that consumes me every day though, where I am going to get sex. Do you want it every day like that? Or were you just going after it before because you could?”

  “Non. I want sex at least daily, Mic. I sometimes don’t have it, but I want it quite strongly. Maybe I am crazy or something.”

  “Or maybe you are hungry for affection, and that is the only way that has felt safe to you emotionally. You had little love or affection until you became sexually active. Maybe your mind confuses the sex act with someone telling you that you are loved and appreciated. That would make sense to me.”

  Gastien thought about it. “I don’t know. I just know I love sex almost as much as painting. I think about it just as much, I know that!”

  “Well, then I guess it is definitely of extreme importance to you. Do be honest with Sophie, though, and try not to hurt her about it. It is one thing to have sex with someone, but quite another to start taking another woman around with you to eat and carry on. That would be very hurtful.

  “Oh, I would never do that. I don’t want their constant companionship. I just get this intense need, and if they are offering, I accept. I have not been unfaithful, though, since Sophie and I started sleeping together.”

  “Well, then you are trying. That is all you can do. Once you live for awhile as a man who is truly loved by a woman, you may not need as many others. It will probably take awhile for that to sink in. As you get older it may lessen, too.”

  “Actually, it would be great if it did. I do feel empty a lot of times afterward.” Gastien finished his vin. “Let’s go have a few drinks, Mic. I am not going to be single long. It sounds like you will be spending nights at home with Alice soon, too!”

  XLI

  They found many of their amis once again discussing art and carrying on as usual at Au Lapin Agile. He and Mic sat down at one long table with about twelve of them. Gastien ordered an absinthe, as did Mic. Gastien switched to a whiskey for his second drink.

  He was reaching for his drink when, all of a sudden, he froze. He heard a voice at the table next to him complaining loudly about a new restaurant in the 6th that he and his wife had visited. Gastien would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Sébastien!

  He immediately felt cold and yet he started to sweat. Gastien could feel the blood drain from his face. He felt like he was going to faint.

  Then he heard another man saying that he agreed. It was Rémy! Gastien looked discreetly over at the table. Sure enough, they were both there, with a couple of other hommes. It seemed they had come out for a lark in Montmartre to see
the eccentrics.

  Fighting the sickness in his stomach, he also tried to control the panic in his mind. It must not be let known that anything was wrong! He could not stand to have his amis know! What if Sébastien and Rémy saw him and decided to say something? He would never want to show his face here again; he would become a prisoner of his studio.

  Gastien tried to keep his breathing normal. His hands shook, so he moved them down under the table for a minute. Stay calm, he told himself. They won’t say anything. They are with other people, after all. But, what if those other people were like them? Then they would brag.

  Mic noticed right away that something was wrong with Gastien. He could tell his ami was fighting for control and was doing a good enough job that the others had not noticed. Mic decided to get his ami outside.

  “Gastien, come with me a minute, I want to ask about wedding plans. It is too noisy at the table,” he said, taking Gastien by the arm. Mic could feel it shaking.

  Gastien got up to follow him, feeling the whole time like he was going to stumble. Somehow he managed to walk normally.

  He heard Mic say quietly by his ear, “Whatever it is, you are all right. You are all right, Gaz.”

  Mic guided him by placing his hand on Gastien’s back. As they walked by the table where Rémy and Sébastien sat, the two men looked up. Gastien looked at them impassively. Perhaps they would not even recognize him anymore.

  He knew right away that they knew who he was. Their eyes gave it away. But they, too, remained impassive, looking past him as if he were a stranger. Thank God! They were with people they did not want knowing about their love of sex with men.

  When Mic and Gastien got outside, Mic said calmly, “Take a few deep breaths, Gaz. Clear your head.” After a few minutes he asked “How are you doing?”

  Gastien was stark white. His legs shook.

  “Mic, will I ever be safe? What do I have to do to know that I am safe? THEY WILL HURT ME, MIC! THEY WILL HURT ME!” Gastien’s eyes did not focus, he was in full panic mode.